To Cure a Zombie....

Source:  To Cure a Zombie....    Tag:  radioactive zombies
Zombies.
People who are very, very sick.. So can't they just get cured?

Of course! I wouldn't recommend it, but you can preserve anything by various methods of salting, drying, or smoking... Or did you mean "cured" as in " not sick anymore"?

...If that's what you meant, then unfortunately, no. The illness that makes a Zombie is some kind of mutant disease that's super adaptable. It becomes immune to whatever medicine is too frequently tried, including Children's Motrin!... You can imagine the buzz that little incurable detail has given the horror film writers.

..Sure, you could probably chuck us full of as many vitamins, pills, and tonics as one might possibly imagine; both legal and illegal to consume...

...But then we'll only be radioactive as well as ill...

....Does Radioactive Zombies sound like fun to you?... Sounds even less fun for the poor zombie, let me assure you....





So, can anything be done to make a Zombie feel better?

Actually, what most Zombies need is love and support. With all the pain we're constantly in, the knowledge of all the things we can't do, and the emotional roller coaster we tend to ride daily; just give your Zombie a nice big hug and reassure 'em you love them....
( You might consider  warning them first, so you don't accidentally give them a heart-attack. Because sudden movements tend to cause that in a Zombie.) 

....Remember a Zombie is not a lazy ignoramus, it is just physically impossible for them to accomplish certain things. DON'T JUDGE. You wouldn't like it very much if Superman started riding you for being unable to catch a bullet with your bare hands, or belittled you for being unable to fly through the air like an airplane, now would you?... 

Admit it, you'd think he was a jerk if he said something like: 
"You could stop a missile mid-air if you wanted to. You're just being lazy.."


......

... To a zombie, healthy people are super human. 

We want to help, we really do. We'd like to live, love, and impress.. But if washing dishes is enough to wipe us out, you can guess what it'll take to turn us to dust.



"Hey, Listen!"  
If you know of a Zombie somewhere, here's what you do: 

Remember all those folks in movies that you just feel sorry for? That neglected cartoon character? That unwanted orphan with the curly red hair? The wizard kid with glasses who has to live his own personal worst nightmare every year for seven years, starting at age ten? That homeless bobble-head you just can't help but sniffle for...

...It's all in a day's work in the life of a Zombie... Endless pain, random jelly joints, aches so bad it feels as though some acupuncturist doesn't know what on earth he's doing-- That stuff is bad, but it's the emotional stuff that's the worst for us... So when you want to reach through the screen and hug that fictional character, hug your Zombie instead.

... Love your zombie.

..Don't judge your zombie. Don't belittle, berate, or be mean to your zombie.

...If you don't have a zombie, don't judge the people who do. It's not easy caring for a Zombie, so the people who stick with it have got more oomph than most people only wish they had! They are real super heroes!... 

...See Superman over there, crying his eyeballs out in bitter shame? Yeah. It's because he met someone who has a zombie, and was put to pathetic shame.... It's that serious. 


Until next time.